Transsexual Anonymous

From transsexual to recovering sex addict: a different approach to gender dysphoria

Welcome to my website. I’m a transgender fantasy addict. I’ve created this site to share a message drawn from my personal experience – one that may not be relevant to very many people, but which I hope may be of life-changing, even life-saving, significance to those few.

In a nutshell, my story is this:

For anyone who identifies with my experience, my message is: THERE IS HOPE!

I suggest beginning by reading my story (link here). Then this link will take you to a guide through the rest of the material here.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Recovery: setting boundaries

Here are some suggestions for boundaries that we can set as tools for achieving sobriety:-
  • Don’t wear women’s clothes or cosmetics
  • Don’t buy women’s clothes, or window-shop for them
  • Don’t shave or remove hair from arms, legs or armpits (unless these are normal male behaviours in your culture)
  • Don’t take female hormones
  • Don’t have treatment for beard removal
  • Don’t use transgender fantasies to masturbate, to suppress feelings or to avoid dealing with problems
  • Don’t enter transgender fantasies while being sexual with a partner
  • Don’t surf the Internet for material to stimulate transgender fantasies
  • Don’t buy or keep transgender pornography
  • Don’t keep catalogues of women’s clothing
  • Don’t use a femme name, for example as an e-mail address
  • Don’t attend transgender social gatherings en femme, or avoid them altogether

Questions for self-diagnosis

These questions are meant to help you think about your situation. There is nothing scientific about them – they are simply drawn from aspects of my own experience which I feel are significant. There is no scoring system. Some of them raise the issue of sexual orientation – you can read an explanation of my thoughts on this here.

How many of the following statements do you identify with?

  • The first time I can remember having sexual feelings as a child is when I first had a transsexual fantasy.

  • I frequently masturbate whilst having transgender fantasies.

  • I use sexual fantasy as a refuge from the problems of real life.

  • The woman I am in my fantasies is the kind of woman I find sexually attractive, and bears no relation to my own age, size, appearance etc.

  • I fantasize compulsively about particular female anatomical characteristics (breasts, vagina, etc.) or biological functions (menstruation, pregnancy, breastfeeding etc.).

  • My sexual fantasies of being a woman involve sado-masochistic or fetishistic elements.

  • In my fantasies I may be sexual with men, but they are “faceless” – I don’t fantasize about specific male individuals.

  • I regularly engage in sexual behaviours which I want to stop because I feel they are not ways in which a woman would typically behave, but I am unable to stop them.

  • I use pornography, but tell myself that I am different from normal male pornography users because I identify with the women portrayed.

  • I spend a lot of time looking at TS websites and using them to fuel my fantasies of becoming a beautiful woman.

  • I have had one or more long-term sexual relationships with women.

  • I have had no sexual experiences with men.

  • I wear women’s clothes in private, but rarely or never go out in public en femme – I am too nervous.

  • I worry a lot about not being young and attractive enough as a woman.

  • I don’t enjoy social gatherings of transgendered people – I just feel awkward and out of place.

  • I have, or have had, typically male leisure interests.

  • I work in a male-dominated occupation.

  • I turn particularly strongly to transsexual fantasies and behaviours at times of great emotional stress.

  • When I fantasize about being a woman I become less inclined to mix with other people and just want to isolate myself.

  • “I want to be a woman” describes my feelings more honestly than “I am a woman”.

Finally, one to sum up all the rest:

  • I use my fantasy of being a woman like an alcoholic uses a drink.